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Sunday, 30 October 2011

The Apprentice Rap

Posted on 16:48 by Unknown
Just a quick one for tonight, but for anyone who saw Harry Hill's TV Burp this weekend, or especially those that didn't, enjoy...

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Posted in Harry Hill, The Apprentice, TV Burp | No comments

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Review: Quorndon Muffins

Posted on 16:49 by Unknown
A week or so ago the Students' Union bars got in new muffins, with "traditional British flavours" such as jam and custard, apple and custard and spotted dick, among others, basically traditional British desserts in muffin forms. And tonight was my first chance at trying one.

Manufactured by 'Quorndon', which sounds like the vegetarian godfather, they have appeared on the bar in a very eye-catching bar-mounted display case.

Priced at £1.20 they are nearly twice the price of the muffins from the shop, about 2/3rds the size, and half as tasty. They're not bad muffins, in fact they are quite tasty, but don't quite reflect the flavour labelled on the packaging. I tried the spotted dick flavour, a dessert I enjoy but haven't had the chance for many years, and it didn't really taste of it. It was basically a muffin with raisins in and a weird yellow custard-style splodge within that didn't taste of custard and was the consistency that could lead to a crude joke involving spotted dick and an STD.

The muffins do proclaim themselves to be enjoyable warm or cold, so maybe heating them in the microwave brings out their flavour, but unfortunately it's rare you go down to the bar with such a piece of electrical equipment and, if you do, what are security doing letting you bring in large kitchen appliances?

Overall, not a bad tasting muffin but for 80p would rather try the bigger and tastier shop muffins and their supposed flavours are misleading. I shall try and pocket one later and warm it up to see what it tastes like. After paying for it, of course.

5/10

[And, yes, I know it's nearly one in the morning and I'm reviewing muffins... time for sleep methinks!]
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Posted in Quorndon muffins | No comments

And The X Factor Did The Right Thing!

Posted on 16:45 by Unknown
"Charity forces X Factor band Rhythmix to change name" as it clashes with the name of the charity.

Yes, like a lot of things out there that share names - Polo car and Polo mint for instance - and don't clash and I think, at the end of the day, this doesn't necessarily clash, but it's nice to see them taking the high ground and doing it.

Eek.... I'm praising the X Factor. It must be late. Or I must be ill.
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Posted in the x factor | No comments

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

It's Criminal That It's Not Better

Posted on 15:00 by Unknown
A week ago on blog post "Ooh, err, she did it again" I mentioned Britney's steamy new video for 'Criminal', and now you can finally view it on YouTube and below.



But, put down the tissues, as there's not much raunch. It just involves bad acting from Britney, violence, a chap who sounds like he was rejected for the Godfather and a video so pretentious even Bono would laugh at it.

It's no more raunchy than, say, 'Somethin' Stupid' by Robbie and Nicole Kidman, and even contains a chap who is such a bad man that he brings you a cup of tea in the morning. He might be a criminal with a gun, but he's no stranger to the kettle. You do get a shot of them naked with his hands around her thrupney bits but otherwise it's hardly x-rated.

But do watch if the thought of Britney going 'Bum, bum, bum' makes you laugh, want to hear a stereotypical cockney policeman at the end; and enjoy Britney snogging the face of a man whilst avoiding being shot in a hail of bullets.

It's not actually too bad a song if a little unremarkable but is quite catchy even after the first listne and I'm undecided on the flutey bit that mimicks the riff line but sounds like it was played by a schoolkid. The video is sexier than, say, the Lion King but hardly even soft porn, and the storyline is so cliched it could well be a porn film but without the sex.

Song: 6.5/10
Video: 4/10
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Posted in Britney Spears, Criminal | No comments

Bradford Monopoly [Review]

Posted on 14:59 by Unknown
I have always been a massive fan of Monopoly since I was a little kid. It’s one of my very few claims to fame that, in 1997, I was the second best young Monopoly player in the UK, not a bad achievement really even if it does involve a particular year, the word ‘young’ and, of course, second. But, I did get to play the game in the Bank of England with real money even if I did miss the chance to go to New York as first prize.

But, I digress. Since then I have been a collector of Monopoly boards, snapping up ‘Here and Now’, ‘Classic’ in a wooden box replicating the original 1930s version, ‘Yorkshire’ and ‘Revolution’ versions, not including the old traditional one I have, plus the one for my home town, ‘York’. At one point I did contemplate buying every UK version ever made until a quick visit to Wikipedia made me realise just how many Waddingtons / Hasbro had released, and that I didn’t have rich parents or a swelling trust fund to help me fill my dreams.

As we near the end of 2011 the number of local themed Monopoly boards has become considerable – there is even a Leeds University one for heaven’s sake – and now we finally have one for Bradford. However, though I’m not scoffing at my adopted home town finally getting a board of its own, it doesn’t half smell of a cash-in.

At this point I’m going to disappoint some of the readers and say I’m not going to review the game of Monopoly. Chances (haha) are you’ll know if you like the game or not so changing a few place names won’t really make a difference to your enjoyment of the game. For those of you that haven’t, there is not enough time for me to spill out the rules of the game in this review, and certainly no reason to without boring the socks off the majority of readers.

You insist? Well, in a nutshell, up to six players journey around properties on a square board, buying them up and charging players who subsequently land on them rent, with the aim being to grab up sets of properties, build properties on them, and bankrupt the other players, all the time also having the opportunity to receive random gifts and benefits in the form of chance and community chest cards, whilst also trying not to be trapped at the dining table with your family for four plus hours waiting for someone to become skint or throw their money over the board in frustration. Satisfied?

Basically, the Bradford edition is like any of local adapted edition: the traditional Monopoly board with a makeover, with locations from London replaced with Bradford and West Yorkshire landmarks, buildings and areas, and a photographic montage stuck in the middle. Sadly, the houses and hotels don’t get replaced by mills and student accommodation, nor do the chance cards have ‘You receive a speeding fine for your quad bike’, ‘You come second in the Omar naan challenge. Receive £10’ or ‘You are assessed for building repairs but you are not Unipol registered so don’t have to worry’. Actually, scrub that, they have paid some attention to the cards. ‘You’re late for a show at the Alhambra Theatre’ (we’ve all been there); ‘You won a trolley dash around Morrisons’ (Clean up on aisle three); and ‘You have been caught littering on the streets of Little Germany’ (that was probably me, I live there), plus others, are included, so some imagination has gone into it. But still no mention of quad bikes.


And, before any typical Telegraph and Argus trolls comment, there isn’t a large hole in the centre of the board to reflect the failed Westfield development. Jeez.

What you do get is seven playing pieces, two dice, a speed die, a wad of money, houses and hotels, a cloth bag, chance, community chest and place cards, an instruction manual, of course the board, and a nice new smell as you open the box. And the ability to mortgage Ilkley Moor, something I’m sure Bradford Council have considered between ruining the old Odeon and cocking up the City Park by opening it in, er, January.

The board, of course, lives and dies on its properties, and it’s on this where there is much more of a sense of commercial input that on, say, my York board. Yes, there’s been a lot of sponsorship of squares by local radio stations and papers on previous boards, but it’s taken to all new levels on this one. As well as the usual suspects of the Alhambra; the National Media Museum and Odsal Station, we also get ‘Richard Dunn Sports Centre’, clearly valid to share a set with Odsal Stadium and Valley Square; Bronte Water Coolers instead of water works balanced against, er, the standard electric company (Yorkshire Electricity missed a trick there) and two squares dedicated to ‘Prestige Car Care’ and ‘Prestige IT Support’. I mean – who? What? Clearly they paid to be on there (presumably about half-way along the rate card as they are on the orange spaces) but, is it just me, or would you personally rather pay a few extra quid for the board and have some proper properties on there, like perhaps the University or Little Germany or Lister Mill? I don’t think ‘Advance to Prestige IT Support’ has the same ring to it – face it, you’d get there, they’d umm and err, put you on hold and tell you to turn it off and on again – as many others and just adds to the smell of corporate cash-in.

Elsewhere the properties are as expected – though I’m not sure how happy Haworth will be with being stuck in the poorest properties – even if additions like the ‘City Park’, which isn’t even finished yet are not totally unexpected but weird. Maybe they should have stuck in a current photo of it unfinished and then Hasbro could post out a sticker of the finished version when they finally get round to it.

Overall, the Bradford Monopoly board is a worthy purchase if you live in our fair city. Effort has gone in to customise some of the chance / community chest cards to expand on the properties featured, and there’s not many other opportunities you’d get to own ‘Bingley Music Live’, the ‘Wool Exchange’ and the ‘Telegraph and Argus’, though the latter at 220 Monopoly pounds if quite steep considering it was under a quid last time I picked up a copy.

Sure, the board smells of a Hasbro call centre calling up local businesses asking for sponsorship (“Come on, shove your logo on a community chest square”; “ A square for Kirkgate Market? Nah, what about a car care company we’ve not heard about?” (that said, all the free publicity they’re getting in this review must make it worth it for them); or “Shall we PhotoShop the miserable looking chap walking in front of the Alhambra Theatre? No. OK.”) and I would rather pay more for the board than random sponsorship, but it does what it says on the Bradford-photography-laden box (Ooh! That Mosque near Laisteridge Lane! Ooh! A Dalek! Ooh! East Riddlesden Hall!) and for £25 it’s nice to have something more relevant and local.

Positives: Nice customisation of cards, well built, if you like Monopoly you’ll like this.
Negatives: Poor choice of some places due to sponsorship, if you hate Monopoly you’ll hate this.

7/10
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Posted in Bradford, Monopoly | No comments

Monday, 24 October 2011

REVIEW: Lady Antebellum - Own The Night

Posted on 12:59 by Unknown
Having really enjoyed the first album by the group, I thought picking up the second would be a good idea, and I'm glad I did.

Though not really breaking any new ground compared to the first album it's a very emotional, touching journey through thirteen tracks, including the cracking single 'Just A Kiss', even if they do questionable include a new version of their biggest hit 'Need You Now', tagged onto the end in the most pointless inclusion since 3OH!3 did something with their third album and 'Starstrukk'.

Don't listen to this album if you are feeling down as it's likely to make things even worse but, for a casual listen in front of a flickering fire place, you can't go much wrong.

It's a very pleasant, soothing listen and the male and female vocals play off each other well once more.

7/10
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Posted in Lady Antebellum | No comments

Ho ho ho! Christmas is coming!

Posted on 10:59 by Unknown
Yes. It's official. Even though we have yet to reach the end of October and, indeed, past Hallowe'en, the first Christmas song has entered the UK charts, in the form of Justin Bieber's 'Misteltoe'.

I've not yet heard the song but the thought of Justin Bieber, teenage fans and a sprig of misletoe, worries me.

So, it'll be Kudos to the first person to get an Easter song in the charts before the end of the year.

Come on Rebecca Black. You know you want to.
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Posted in justin bieber | No comments
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