Single Reviews: 28th November 2011

Emeli Sande ft Naughty Boy - Daddy

Having appeared on singles by Chipmunk, Wiley and Professor Green Emili Sande continues to forge out her own solo career, seemingly filling the void left by Amy Winehouse earlier this year. Unfortunately, compared to these guest appearances and her distinctive debut single ‘Heaven’ this doesn’t quite have the same appeal or hook. Sure, the swelling 007-esque backing is there and her voice is as great as always, but it misses the powerful chorus and bridge of her previous hit, whilst sounding a little too much like it. A pleasant enough track but not a good follow-up to her debut. Plus, where does Naughty Boy fit into it? 5/10



The Wombats - 1996

Churning out their sixth single from a ten-song album might seem as a little bit of a cash-in, and to a certain degree it is, but it’s still a track worth releasing as a single thanks to its memorable chorus and interesting lyrics that stick firmly in your head, even if at times it does seem the lyrics don’t quite fit into the music behind it. Away from the music I’m surprised they’re still releasing videos for the songs, with this one being better than their previous one with much more interesting things going on. Clearly they got a good deal from their label!

Frankly, if you enjoy this I’d pick up the album because buying six singles from ‘The Modern Glitch’ is pointless – just buy the full thing! 7/10



X Factor Finalists 2011 - Wishing On A Star

Expanded from this year’s Marks and Spencer’s Christmas advert – free publicity anyone? – this is yet another cover of the 1978 hit, most recently covered beautifully by Seal only earlier this year. So, is it worth downloading this if you have a previous version? Frankly, no. It doesn’t add much to the established formula and sounds so much like the Seal version, for instance, you might as well grab that one and enjoy one singer tackling the whole thing, rather than this bitty version. Actually, musically it’s a great version of the track but it conforms to the old adage of too many cooks. And just for good measure they throw JLS and One Direction in for the most pointless cameo ever. Good, but we’ve heard it all before. 6/10

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REVIEW: Milton Jones: Lion Whisperer (Saturday 26th November)

St. George’s Hall, Bradford. Support: James Acaster

Going to see Milton Jones live would be a little bit of a punt for me. Most of the comedians I’ve seen on stage live and been happy to shell out twenty quid for have been comedians I’ve seen a lot on the telly or have got a DVD of, such as the excellent Tim Vine. Though I’d only seen a few appearances of Londoner Milton Jones on shows such as ‘Mock The Week’ I was pretty confident he had my sort of humour, specialising in the one-liners that the aforementioned Tim Vine has specialised in with the sort of pun-trading, surreal-scenario setting, loud-out-loud humour that I most enjoy. And I wasn’t to be disappointed.

It also didn’t do any harm that the gig was happening with a ten minute walk from my front door so off on Saturday night to St. George’s Hall I went, for a pleasant view of the stage from up on the grand tier, even if the seats weren’t exactly built for the build of a 21st Century male who hasn’t been to the gym in a few months, with immovable arm rests hemming you into the seats and so little leg room I would have preferred to wrap my calves around the gentleman in front of me and forgo the norms of society, than to be squeezed into the seat.

But, the minor issues of the seats wasn’t enough to put me off what was an enjoyable, and good value, night of comedy.

It was also one of the most unusual openings of a comedy show yet with two support acts.

The first opener was billed as Milton Jones’ granddad, walking onto the sparse stage with just a few par can lights and a projector screen, with a shopping trolley and a limp. It would be stating the obvious for me to mention who the act really was but it was a great twist on the opening of a gig, with twenty minutes of quick-fire puns and a great bit of schtick about starting the act again everytime a late-comer walked in that, maybe went on one-time too many, but had a great pay-off at the end and the joke used, with a reference to Bradford thrown in, was a classic.

With some use of props thrown in for good measure it was a great start to the show and, though only really a taster of what was to come, was a quality bit of comedy to whet the audience’s appetite, an audience that throughout the night flip-flopped between members of the audience who would happily shout out but not interact with Milton when he replied, or others that were just shouting off random bits at random moments, but to the comedians credit he dealt with them to great comic effect.

The real support was comedian James Acaster, a down-beat, self-effacing comedian whose considerable forty minute set-time seemed to start with jokes mostly about food but his subject matter was all great and his jokes very funny. Although his delivery was meant to be sombre it was well executed none-the-less, following on from Milton’s granddad routine, it didn’t have the energy needed to keep the night buzzing, so at about twenty-five minutes into the set it began to lose momentum and some interactions with the front row seemed to ignore the majority of the room and it lost its flow. However, James made up for it with a corking concluding visual demonstration on stage, using a willing participant who seemed to be more than happy to play along, filled with cracking visual jokes and witty lines. As the act took us up to the fifteen minute interval it wasn’t the most exciting of supports to get us in the mood, being quite laid back and slow in the delivery, but James Acaster was definitely one of the best support acts I’ve seen for his material and fitted Milton’s style well.

After the interval it was onto the main act and Milton’s set was as funny as I could hope for. Seventy minutes of perfectly delivered one-liners, his jokes were both surreal but very, very funny. He echoed back at times to both the support acts to milk jokes that you thought had run out of steam but were made funny once again, and his ten-minute skit on photo slides, with its surprise interlude, was the highlight of the night. As mentioned before Milton jostled well with the crowd who, though enjoying the night, weren’t that responsive to his banter and he also used trios of jokes, scattered throughout the show, to great effect, with the shampoo / shamrock / champagne triplet absolutely amazing.

With some nicely added in local place names scattered throughout his set, and a series of hilarious OHP slides and connected jokes delivered perfectly, the crowd was in hysterics for much of his set and, even though the punchline of the joke was obvious, others were much more surreal and others falsely leading you in the wrong direction.

Not many comedians could pull off a gig where the title just refers to a one-off joke near the start of his set, but although there was little narrative pulling the whole show together it stayed firmly on track and the huge range of jokes from everything from jokes on the United Nations to Dr Who to Wales, there was much to enjoy.

Milton threw in two quick encores with more fast-paced one-liners, bringing to the end of quality show of really funny jokes that mostly hit their marks, plus it was totally family friendly as well. It was just a shame the audience members that were so keen to shout up to be involved didn’t follow up their initial confidence.

Definitely one for a DVD purchase or a live gig if you can still get tickets for any!

9/10

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She Wore A... Black Armband

"Itsy Bitsy Bikini songwriter Lee Pockriss dies" so what better way to remember him than the below?

OK... I apologise...

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Super Mario 3D Land (3DS) Review #supermario3dland

It’s always been a truth that, as long as there has been cinema, there have been film executives with a love of a good pun. Not that I can blame them; I’m not completely shy about doing some punnage myself. Hence why there have been films such as ‘Cradle 2 The Grave’, emphasising it’s the second film. Connected to this it has always been difficult for film makers to steer away from the obvious marketing ploy of making the third film in a series in 3D so they can slap a ‘D’ on the end of the title and hope that the audience chuckle a little whilst consuming their expensive tub of popcorn and losing patience with the idiots three rows back texting their mates.

Clue: they don’t.

It’s obvious in films such as the classic (I use it in the sense of old, of course) Jaws 3D and the upcoming Men In Black 3D, plus countless examples that I can’t name because my brain appears to have blocked them out. Therefore it follows that the new Super Mario game for the 3DS, Super Mario 3D Land, is a 3D version of Super Mario Bros 3. from the end of the eighties.

The first Mario platformer for Nintendo’s new-ish and struggling glasses-free 3D bag of tricks handheld console should be the shot in the arm that the 3DS needs, coming two weeks before the second cup of revitalising coffee that will be Mario Kart 7. You cannot deny that the 3DS is a powerful piece of kit with impressive 3D, augmented reality, StreetPass, 3D photographs and loads of other bells and whistles, but it’s hardly been well endowed in the games department and has annoyed fans with price drops, sticking two fingers up to early adopters, even if they have been offered a sticking plaster of a solution in the name of twenty free retro games.

So it seems the fat plumber has arrived in time to cheer up Nintendo’s ailing spreadsheets in the run up to the Christmas period.

Super Mario 3D Land, the title of preference by dyslexics it would seem (surely Super Mario Land 3D, or does that bring back too many memories of the Game Boy?), is an unusual beast in that it plays like a 2D platformer in the spirit of the classic NES and SNES games but with a three-dimensional twist. Not, like in the case of Super Mario 64, Sunshine, Galaxy and Galaxy 2 in that you can roam wherever you want, but on a linear path like the original expanded into a 3D environment, like if the horsepower of the N64 was mated with the stallion that was Super Mario Bros. 3. Though you are restricted to one path, there is some freedom to move around so it doesn’t often feel like you are ‘on rails’.

It’s a full retro trip for longstanding Mario fans like myself. All the hallmarks of Mario 3 are there – arguably the highlight of the Mario platformers – along with other nods to other episodes, from the classic level end flagpole from the first platformer, to the countdown clock, to the retro powers including the Tanooki suit (here, for the most part, as a cut down raccoon power up but with the full suit), plus loads of classic baddies.

There’s a great video on YouTube I saw that matched up scenes from old Mario games to almost note-perfect replicas in 3D in this game, showing the attention to detail for older fans given by the development team.

But it’s not all old, as we sees two brand new power ups in the forms of Boomerang Mario and the Propeller Block, plus new enemies, and the general feeling that it’s ‘Super Mario Galaxy’ in platform form, with some challenges mirrored from that game.

At this point I’d normally discuss the plot of the game but that would be just a waste of ASCII as, as always, the scriptwriters have not been original. But, that just means more time to get on with the game. Here you are presented with eight worlds of five levels each, a mixture of grass levels, underground ones, a few water levels, castles, airships, ghost houses and other staples of the Mario level canon. Taking its cue from the Galaxy games most levels are presented as floating in the sky, leading this to be one of the most palm-sweating-inducing Mario games in a long time as you know that one mis-timed jump means death.

But thankfully the controls of the game are as tight as ever, with jumps and movement so fluid you cannot fault the system, helped by the impressive glasses-free 3D that really gives the game a sense of death. The 3D has always been impressive on the Nintendo system and though, for the most part, it’s unobtrusive, there are times when things come at the screen or you are falling down vertical levels, that it’s really quite awe-inspiring and actually adds an extra level of fear to falling down those heights. The levels that utilise slides are particularly note worthy and, with some bonuses only possible by using the 3D, you’d be a fool to play it without it even though, as I’d forgotten, it drains the juice out of the power-hungry and under-capacitated 3DS battery faster than a hungry man at a poorly-stocked fridge.

Though the basic premise of each level is the same – get from the start to the final flagpole whilst collecting coins, avoiding enemies and picking up power-ups along the way, and ensuring you hit the half-way marker to save your progress – each episode is unique with a different enemy, or obstacle, or theme that keeps it fresh, be it a rollercoaster through Bowser’s castle, blocks that appear and disappear with the beat of the music, or running across a bridge avoiding Cheep-Cheeps. There are also three star coins on each level to collect which allow you to unlock secret levels as you progress.

So is the game any good? Well it’s a resounding yes. Graphically the game is amazing, being as good as anything the Wii has pulled off. The 3D works marvellously – and is changeable from pop-out to depth depending on your preference – and adds peril to otherwise calm levels. There are graphical tweaks such as footprints in snow and sand, birds that shed feathers and much more. The controls couldn’t be more perfect. The music – a mixture of old and new songs – are just as catchy as they’ve always been, and the levels are inventive and the enemies intriguing, even if the humble Koopa Troopa gets very little screen time.

There is even a great throwback to Mario 3 with the screwed on scenery plus wooden cut-outs of baddies, which though random has a reason behind it which I won’t spoil here.

The most exciting about the game, though, is that the final boss is the first decent battle with Bowser in ages. Though the ending of ‘New Super Mario Bros Wii’ was a great battle and dramatic, it was one of many that were short, unimaginative and simple. This one beats that with more tension, false-ends and peril. Sure, it’s not massively difficult, but I consider myself a good player and it was exciting to play.

Difficulty wise the game is more of a challenge than other reviewers have said. It’s certainly not Super Mario Bros 3 or Super Mario Galaxy 2 difficult but it’s not a walk in the park. It’s just a shame that Nintendo keep liberally splashing coins and 1 Ups around so a ‘Game Over’ is never a likely outcome. They have thrown in two helps for less-able players with five deaths in a level allowing you to complete the level invincible; ten deaths sees the return of the P-Wing, now an immediate transport to the final flag.

There are a few bug-bears in the game, more down to personal preference. I still want the return of the Super Mario World-style overmap as that was great to explore, and the secret exits to levels were amazing; the star coins are, in the most, not that difficult to find; and the end world bosses are all very similar without the imagination of the Koopalings.

But these are just minor criticisms when you consider how much fun the game is to play. There are so many smile moments they’re difficult to count, from the ending of world 1-3, I think it was? – with its extreme retro throwback; the funny cut-scenes between worlds with images you can save to your SD card; and the impressive mix of graphics, challenge, 3D and music.

Plus there are very few games that would just have a random power-up, appearing in one of the last levels of the main game, in one third of one level. Most would milk it to its worth; here Nintendo allow you to enjoy it while it lasts, like it’s the 2011 Kuribo’s shoe.

And you’ll notice there that I said main game. Without spoiling too much, once you complete the first eight worlds – which took me eight hours to complete with all the star coins – you do get some extra, more challenging levels, a power-up wrong is righted, time attack challenges are made available, and some more surprises that I won’t spoil here – so although I’ve not done them all it’s not unreasonable that you’ll get fifteen hours out of this game with all the levels and star coins, and that’s not before you get to challenging your mates to beat your times. Which isn’t bad for what is a platformer and not an open-ended sandbox game.

With this game you can also throw in StreetPass assist, with friends you bump into on the street with the game giving you power-ups, even though it’s not an amazing feature.

Overall, Super Mario 3D Land is pretty much everything you’d want from a new Mario game. There’s plenty of challenge; a lot of retro love for the longstanding fan; a game that not only looks beautiful but plays beautiful, sounds beautiful and makes excellent use of the 3DS’ main selling point; and lots of content for a game you’ll be dipping in and out of for a while.

Until Mario Kart 7 comes out anyway.

But, most importantly, the game is just plain fun and it makes you smile, which is something a lot of games in 2011 just lack.

9.5/10

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Ho Ho Ho…w early? This year’s Christmas adverts – the verdict! Part One

Yes, I’m fully aware it is still only November but, if you watch commercial television, you can’t have failed to have noticed the glut of shops thrusting their 2011 Christmas adverts in your face. So which are cracking and which are turkeys? Let’s find out.

Marks and Spencer aka “It Hasn’t Got The X-Factor”



Now, I need some clarification with this. Is it advertising Britain’s premium food and clothing shop or is it a sixty-second love letter and free publicity to the X-Factor? Yes, the good old Marks and Sparks adverts have often featured celebrities but no one quite this, erm, current. I can’t deny their version of the Disney classic ‘When You Wish Upon A Star’ is good, if not a little bit scatter gun because of the range of the voices.

Already staying current has bitten them in the behind as Frankie, who has now left the X Factor because of snow of a different kind, it’s had to be edited from the version above.

With footage of the X Factor finalists mixed in with the necessary cross section of demographics unwrapping presents, I would say it doesn’t necessarily feel that Christmassy to me. Or maybe it’s because it’s still mid-November.

Not a bad advert but it doesn’t really have the X-Factor. [4 / 10]

Ann Summers, aka “Phwoar-ing but Boring”



Taking the form of another sort of talent competition, this advert will not surprise you. Consisting of everything you’d think would appear in an Ann Summers advert: slow motion cameras showing various aspects of their bodies, sexy underwear, provocative dancemoves, a rabbit (no, a real one, not *that* one) I wouldn’t say it’s particularly Christmassy. There’s no tinsel or trees to be seen, no snow sensually rubbed off flesh and no sign of any kissing under the mistletoe.

I’m not going to complain about two minutes and ten seconds of scantily clad amateur models appearing on my TV screen and, you know, if this was what Christmas is about I’m not going to moan either, but it’s not particular festive beyond the heavy use of the colour red. And the least said about the dance / techno backing music the better, unless Santa has invested in a pair of decks and Tracktor. [4/10]

John Lewis, aka “Nice Twist, Shame about the Morrissey”



To be honest, I could stop writing about this record after revealing its first achievement in that the cover of a Smiths song actually makes it sound good, even if it’s as depressing a song as you expect from a Morrissey penned ditty. Frankly, Santa would find himself on valium listening to this tune.

The advert sets up a simple story of a boy waiting around, not for something to actually happen in the video as I initially expected, but for Christmas so he can give a present to his parents, a neat twist on the expectation that he’s waiting for Christmas. The story is told well and the little twist is great and it’s the most Christmas-y of the adverts so far, capturing that excitement of Christmas Day you have as a kid.

Just pick a more cheerful song next time, John Lewis. Ellie Goulding’s murdering of the Elton John classic last year should have been enough for you! [6/10]

Littlewoods, aka “Anti-men, Illusion shattering Urban pantomime”



Santa is dead. That is according to this Littlewood’s advert. No longer is it a jolly fat man dressed in red who comes down your chimney, leaves you gifts and then sods off with his magical flying reindeer. No, it’s your mum. In her old slippers, with a mug of coffee in her hand and a sense of worry over the credit card bill rattling around in her head.

Laying thanks to Christmas at the door of mums everywhere instead of Santa – and, of course, fuelling the anti-feminists with the sentiment that, of course, no dads do the present shopping – it takes the form of a school pantomime where instead of celebrating the birth of Christ in a gorgeous nativity scene or perhaps recreating the three bears, the kids all grasp hold of the commercial side of Christmas with talk of X-Box consoles and watches. Oh, and let’s not forget to street it up with the token black child and the obligatory street hand gesture. Bo.

So within forty seconds we get sexism, casual racial stereotyping, and the shattering of the fantasy of Santa’s exciting. Great work Littlewoods. At least the song is catchy though, but mostly thanks to the amount of people in the audience whose names luckily rhyme. [3/10]

Boots, aka “Mission Charlie’s Angels Impossible”



With a cracking adaptation of the established Boots / Sugababes “Girls” theme to make it sound like it has come straight out of a James Bond film, this is possible the wittiest and most interesting advert so far this year, with lots of shots of the aforementioned girls planting presents around without being spotted before achieving a white Christmas through the use of a snow cannon and enough lights to cripple your electricity budget for the next ten millennia.

With enough movie pastiches to keep even the most ardent movie fan happy, it’s not very traditionally Christmas but at least it has snow and fairy lights. And a happy, up-tempo, tune. About fifty percent there on the festive stakes. [6.5/10]

I’ll be reviewing more adverts soon but at the moment none of the above come anywhere close to the ultimate festive classic…

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This Week's Single Releases

The Collective - Teardrop (Children In Need)

What do you get if the excellent Gary Barlow produces all the current crop of very talented urban artists on a Massive Attack cover? Possibly the most tedious charity record ever. Not so much rapping as speaking, the song is boring and lumbering and not even what I assume is the BBC Orchestra and a sung chorus can really lift it up, though Tulisa’s vocals are the only ones that can really be complimented, the rest sounding like they were phoned in.

It’s a shame I can’t say anything nicer as it’s for a good cause and the people involved coming together is incredible. However, it really is a dull track in comparison to such BBC highlights of similar collective tracks like 1997’s ‘Perfect Day’.

Give some money to charity and download the original. I expected more from such talent, especially from a combination of Gary Barlow and Labyrinth. Even a pre-born foetus can see that. [3 / 10]



Ed Sheeran - Lego House

Featuring in the abomination of the charity track is Ed Sheeran who is much more at home here actually singing. Though I didn’t like his previous track at all this is a much better track and a vast improvement. Featuring Harry Potter’s own Rupert Grint in the video, it’s a pleasurable laid-back ballad that is perfect to listen to as the nights turn cold, with lyrics that are worth listening to and a stripped back backing track that compliments them. [7 / 10]



Jessie J - Who You Are

As we reach the fifth single of her debut album it’s clear that her label is scraping the barrel for releases. Some artists can sustain such a number of singles but not in this case. It’s a perfectly nice ballad, built around a repeating and atmospheric acoustic guitar and drum track, and her voice is as powerful as ever, but whereas I imagine it slots nicely onto her album it doesn’t really deserve standing on its own like this. Great lyrics and nice ditty but not worthy of a single release. [5 / 10]



Snow Patrol - This Isn't Everything You Are

The second cut from the band’s upcoming sixth album doesn’t do anything to drift away from the Snow Patrol formula: a slow, building ballad. What is new is that lead singer Gary Lightbody, surely the coolest name of a singer ever, sounds like he’s been eating marbles with his strange pronunciation of ‘Don't keel over now’ and various other lines. Not understanding the words aside it’s as good a track as ‘Chasing Cars’ and any of their other “big” hits. It features a catchy bridge and chorus, choral backing and heartfelt lyrics, which is surely all you expect from the Patrol? It’s not going to win over any detractors but will definitely please the fans. [7 / 10]



Westlife- Lighthouse

Possibly the last single we’ll see from the uber-successful boyband, it’s taken from their new “Greatest Hits”, dropping “Volume 2” to prove that calling their first “Greatest Hits Volume 1” was, like the Backstreet Boys, slightly presumptuous.

Taking the form of a series of metaphors sung over a typical boy-band choral effect with a peeled-back piano, it’s very Westlife but also very good, if you like this sort of thing. Like the Snow Patrol track they’ve not taken any risks and it’s very much for the fans, the mums and the grans, but it’s a great listen and, though it won’t win any awards for originality or daring, it’s a thumbs up from me. [7.5 / 10]

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The Lancashire Hotpots [Live Review]

The Lancashire Hotpots [Live Review] – Fibbers, York, Saturday 12th November 2011
Supported by the Re-entrants

As a Yorkshireman who was born in Yorkshire and lives in Yorkshire and eats Yorkshire (puddings) I should detest anything from Lancashire with venom. However, no matter how much our counties may be rivals, it’s difficult to dislike – nay impossible – one of their exports in the form of comedy-folk band ‘The Lancashire Hotpots’ who, over the course of four excellent albums and a Christmas record, have set the bar for Northern comedy, putting a twist on the modern life by setting 21st Century dilemmas, hobbies and technology to the sound of the dance halls and to George Formby-esque music.

It was not a difficult decision for me to buy some tickets to see them a third time after recently purchasing their new album and, late in the day their Christmas record which I’m saving to nearer the festival to listen to, even if decorations and shop aisles of festive goodies are springing up around me. So, bringing a friend with me for whom this would be their first ever live music gig, it was time to enjoy a night of Hotpotting. And we didn’t even need a knife, fork or bib.

After several years camping out in the Duchess in York, a former snooker bar turned musical venue weirdly sat directly above the competition in a town which, until the recent re-opening of the Barbican, only had two real music venues both situated on top of each other so you could fall through one into t’other, the band returned downstairs to Fibbers, as have another band I’m seeing later in the month, suggesting Fibbers have either got a new booking agent or are splashing their cash around.

And I might be guessing at the latter. Because of the Duchess taking away all their acts, I’ve not been to Fibbers in years. It used to be a good haunt in my early days of music reviewing and one of the first places I went to to listen to bands. So, naturally, it was a shock as I walked through the main door to find the place looking completely different, with the stage at the other end, a new bar (with reasonably priced drinks I might add!), illuminated steps, toilets in a different area and generally some investment in a bar that had been a little dark and dingy before. Granted, it was still dark with bits of balsa wood glued to the ceiling, but it was much nicer than before.

Nicer, that is, as long as you don’t need the loo as it seems they finished building it then realised that men might want to, you know, occasionally, erm, dispose of previous meals and hadn’t put in some cubicles, so have bashed up some chipboard panelling to form two make-shift compartments. It’s a shame as the toilets were quite fancy though were, er, blocked shall we say, unless the chipboard / MDF was a decision choice then I am clearly out of touch with the music venues of the day. But that’s enough about bogs. You want to know what I thought about the bands not the crapping facilities.

Though not as big as the Duchess, it must be at least a quarter of the size, it was the perfect size for the 250 or so punters that turned up, and I was glad to find it wasn’t just my friend and I that turned up dressed for the part in our flat caps. In fact, a lot of them had gone to even more trouble with neckerchiefs, overalls and other stereotypical Lancashire garb on their bodies, scattering among the others just in one of their range of band t-shirts.

So with a pint of cider in hand and proudly wearing my ‘Professional Yorkshireman’ t-shirt, it was time to read about how Silvio Berlusconi was standing down as Italian PM, how the X-Factor was suffering technical difficulties (just like the London sewage system struggles in the modern age, so it seems BT Tower was struggling with the amount of shit coming through it that night), and other distractions on the internet, whilst also chatting with my friend, as we waited for the support act to come on.

Their name tickling my memory and on sight definitely reminding me of something, it was clear that ‘The Re-entrants’ were the band that had supported the Hotpots the last time I’d seen them in York.

Basically two men with a ukulele each, their schtick was singing classic and modern pop and rock hits on ukulele. Sure, they were a one trick pony, but it was a thoroughbread of a pony and one that couldn’t have got the show off to a better start.

Introduced by the Hotpots very own Bernard with some hilarious banter, they soon burst into their set, kicking off with a speedy and pleasing version of ELO’s ‘Mr Blue Sky’, even down to the closing instrumental (even if they did get the ending of the song wrong – it is actually ‘Please Turn Me Over’ rather than repeating the title, though I do appreciate that wouldn’t make much sense in a live setting); then a hilarious version of Lady GaGa’s ‘Poker Face’, the two grown men impersonating her vocals a sight to see and a sound to hear, with them injecting a lot of character into the lyrics, with the hilarity of the situation even causing the singers to laugh, a laughter and appeal that was infectious to the crowd.

‘Ace of Spades’ and ‘Thriller’ followed and were both well performed from a musical and singing point of view, the two singers impersonating the different vocal styles and, in the case of the second, singers’ tics, perfectly. A headbutt of the mic during the door slam line on Jacko’s most famous hit was one of the most unexpected but amusing things during their set, as was the Hotpot’s occasional adlibs during the gaps (“Play us something we know”) and their discussion about whether they had a muffin as ‘Poker Face’ finished.

‘The Re-entrants’ continued to throw in curve balls during the set, including intentionally funny dance moves, and the ‘whoosh’ sound effects of Bonnie Tyler’s opus ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’. The only thing that put a dampner on the set, as they did at times during the main performance, were the, and I use the word sparingly, tossers next to me who thought it was hilarious to pretend they were in a two-person mosh-pit banging into other people and, frankly, needing a good spray of deodorant. Mosh when others do, yes, but they were off their heads with drink and, though I’m not against people enjoying themselves in a gig, they just went a little too far.

One thing that was unusual about the support act was that they got an encore due to how much the crowd were enjoying them, a first for me, so they treated everyone to their version of ‘Kiss’, the Prince original, complete with high vocals and a dance section during the obligatory ‘I think I’m gonna dance now’ bit.

In the choice of ‘The Re-entrants’ a better support act for the Hotpots you couldn’t find. Though as I said at the top of this section it was just one joke over the thirty minutes the crowd didn’t tire of it and it was truly interesting to watch, both from a technical point of view in adapting pop songs to the ukulele but also the funny skits they through in during songs and between them.

I would recommend picking up one of the CDs where you can.

Set list:
Mr Blue Sky (ELO)
Poker Face (Lady GaGa)
Ace of Spaces (Motorhead)
Thriller (Michael Jackson)
Gold (Spandau Ballet)
Total Eclipse of the Heart (Bonnie Tyler)
Comfortably Numb (Pink Floyd)
Kiss (Prince)

It was just a short twenty-minutes before the main act would begin, starting a very generous ninety-minute set from the Lancashire Hotpots, which is possibly the longest, best-value-for-money set I’ve seen in a long time.

Coming onto the ‘Price Is Right’ theme tune, they owned the stage and crowd for the whole of their duration on it. Even Bernard’s guitar being unplugged before he got on allowed for a funny skit to kick off, leading to an hour-and-a-half of drinking, dancing, singing along and, of course, laughing.

As expected they began with a drinking song, but a drinking song with a difference, with their fourth album opener ‘Give Us A Brew’ getting the crowd in the mood, and like in the previous times I’ve seen them even with a tweaked line-up now, it was amazing how tight they were as a group, from Bernard on his guitar, to Ken on his drums, to Bob on bass, to Billy on Synth and Dickie on backing vocals with a variety of random instruments for throughout the gig, including some in the shapes of fruit and one in a Pringles can.

The early part of the set was a highlights package of some of their best tracks from another drinking song in ‘Bitter, Lager, Cider, Ale, Stout’ to ‘I Met A Girl On Myspace’, each sung tail-ended by banter by the band that really engaged with the audience and made everyone enjoy the night more. This was the third time I’ve seen the band and, though the last two were brilliant nights, this easily tops them as the best and the most fun, the group benefiting from extra props and more energy.

‘I Fear Ikea’ and ‘Chav’ followed, with the crowd happily singing back the songs and fulfilling Bernard’s request in doing a YMCA-style dance to the second of those tracks. The crowd participation only increased when Bernard left the stage and returned in a full pirate costume for a rendition of ‘Cinema Smugglers’, sadly the only cut from their excellent third album, my favourite of them, complete with the crowd going ‘yaaar!’ on queue.

A personal favourite of mine was next as Dickie Ticker took lead-vocals for the Noel Coward-inspired ‘Has Anybody Seen My Dongle?’ before yet another drinking song in the shape of ‘I’ll ‘Ave One With You’ got the crowd singing along again.

The Hotpots continued to rattle through their hits with ‘Keys, Wallet, Phone’ and ‘The Beer Olympics’, before one of their biggest hits – ‘He’s Turned Emo’ set the room alight, following one of Bernard’s hilarious wordy rants about emos in a similar vain to his one on chavs.

It was then a quick dash off stage for the band, who returned back on dressed in high-visibility jackets and glasses, ready for a rave, with the crowd only too happy to oblige with a conga around Fibbers to ‘A Lancashire DJ’.

‘Me PSP’ and their trademark track ‘Chippy Tea’ followed, both expertly realised and sounding every bit as good as their recorded counterparts with all of the first verse of ‘Chippy’ sang by the audience, emphasising their familiarity with the words, but both with the added power and magic of being performed live, before they went off properly for the break before the obligatory encore, which featured a hilarious pastiche of Eminem’s ‘The Real Slim Shady’ and fan-favourite ‘Shopmobility Scooter’, which mixed in a sing-along end of the Beatles hit ‘Hey Jude’ transformed into ‘Hey Jean’, featuring great sing-a-long sections and a men vs women singing battle, showing that the band had the crowd eating out of their hands.

There was only one real way to end the set, as they always do, with their ‘Bang Bang Thumpy Dance Megamix’, their mirth-filled montage of popular dance tracks from the 90s to now with a northern theme, serving as a high energy end to what was a fantastic show.

After they left the stage the night wasn’t over for my friend and I. We got to meet the one and only Bernard after the show for a quick chat and an ident for a radio show we do – thanks to Bernard for that – and he was a genuinely nice chap.

It was also an interesting end with a couple of people asking me where I’d purchased my ‘Professional Yorkshireman’ t-shirt from and one thinking I’d actually gained it as a professional qualification from University. It takes all sorts.

Overall, my journey out to see the Lancashire Hotpots was as far from a disappointment as it can be possibly be. Following one of the best, and well-received, support acts I’ve seen in a long time, their generous ninety minute set packed full of seventeen of their hits, was fantastic and delivered brilliantly thanks to a tight band and a great sound system, much improved on the Fibbers days of old.

If I could find criticism it would be in the lack of tracks from their third release ‘Criminal Record’ but that’s my personal preference. It was an excellent night of hilarious tracks brilliantly performed and I’ll be definitely making the journey to see their next tour.

[8.5 / 10]

Set list:
Give Us A Brew
Bitter, Lager, Cider, Ale, Stout
I Met A Girl On MySpace
I Fear Ikea
Ebay Eck
Chav
Cinema Smugglers
Has Anybody Seen My Dongle?
I’ll ‘Ave One With You
Keys, Wallet, Phone
The Beer Olympics
He’s Turned Emo
A Lancashire DJ
Me PSP
Chippy Tea

-Encore-
The Real Bernard Thresher (Short)
Shopmobility Scooter / Hey Jean
Bang Bang Thumpy Dance Megamix

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Electric Six – Heartbeats and Brainwaves [Album Review]

You can throw many accusations at Detroit band ‘Electric Six’: their songs aren’t exactly deep; they are mostly known in the mainstream for two big hits in 2003; and aren’t the most serious of bands. However, it is equally easy to say that they cannot be pigeonholed, as their eighth album in as many years goes to show, with yet another range of tracks that don’t fit neatly into the musical styles of previous releases.

Releasing an album a year over what is nearly a decade, ‘Electric Six’ have enjoyed a big cult following even when they’re not troubling the charts with their range of guitar and synth hits written by lead singer ‘Dick Valentine’, with their latest album ‘Heartbeats and Brainwaves’ enjoying a UK release by independent label ‘Too Many Robots’ alongside their main American release.

‘Heartbeats and Brainwaves’ is a difficult album to get into. Whereas previous albums such as ‘KILL’ and ‘Zodiac’ have been more immediate, my first listen to this fourteen-track LP was more mixed with a sense of disappointment hanging over several of the tracks. However, after a couple more listens the magic of the album soon becomes apparent.

Though opener ‘Psychic Visions’ is not the most bombastic of first tracks compared to a catalogue that prides itself on noteworthy intros, more akin to the low-key opening of ‘Switzerland’ with ‘The Band In Hell’, it is an atmospheric number that showcases producer John Nash’s vision for the album, one that puts less focus on the band’s guitar and more onto the synthesiser, layers of production and, for the first time in a big way, guest stars. It’s a multi-layered album that dances around being a little over-produced but manages to stay on the right side for most of it, but offers a lot over multiple listens.

‘French Bacon’, which starts with a thumping bass-heavy one-minute instrumental, and the poppy, speedy ‘Gridlock!’ are more traditional E6 fare, with catchy, memorable choruses and impressive music work. ‘It Gets Hot’, featuring ‘Andy D’, is the band’s take on RnB music, that throws in a false start to the song, a rap section and female vocals mirroring Dick’s lyrics on the chorus, creating a stand out track unlike anything the band has done before that mixes tongue-in-cheek lyrics with the aforementioned RnB swagger. The opening words of “That sound that you were looking for / Ain't nothing like this sound /
Better turn your car around” sum up the album’s shift in style from previous releases nicely.

‘The Intergalactic Version’ sounds as spacey as its title and is more about the music than necessarily the lyrics, with more interesting production effects and a ethereal feel. ‘Interchangeable Knife’ continues the theme set in ‘It Gets Hot’ with extra lyrics and rap-style vocals from ‘E. Abbott Jones’ from ‘The Constellations’ and ‘She Bits’ from band ‘Lettercamp’, complimenting Dick’s lead vocals once more, and would be a strong contender for a single if they decided to do one and is unlike anything they’ve done on previous albums. Plus, if you can grab hold of a copy of the remix available on their Facebook page you can enjoy a different, and arguably even better, version.

‘Food Dog’ that follows is one of the weaker tracks of the album which, although it has interesting lyrics, doesn’t really massively stand out. However, next track ‘Hello! I See You’ is the highlight of the album, and more classic E6, with catchy and visual lyrics, hand-clapping and an exciting song structure. ‘Bleed For The Artist’ is another par track which has a lot to enjoy but is nothing amazing.

But the triple punch of ‘We Use The Same Products’ – a slower track with a short, but addictive chorus; ‘Eye Contact’ – a nicely produced song with effects on the vocals that give them an eerie but appealing feel; and ‘Free Samples’ – that mixes some interesting production effects with a powerful chorus and an equally good set of verses and is one of the best on the release; is well received as the album nears its conclusion.

Penultimate track ‘I Go Through Phases’ is possibly the weakest track on the album that overstays its welcome with an overly repetitive conclusion that makes you want to switch it off prematurely, but the album is closed by the title track, a five-minute synth opus that is split into two, an electronic ballad dominated by the drum equivalent of a ticking clock, followed by a concluding electronic instrumental that ties the album up neatly.

Though in my opinion not as good as the album that preceded it, ‘Heartbeats and Brainwaves’ is a collection that is more interesting from a production point of view than a lot of their previous albums with several tracks that stand up in their song catalogue so far. Though the electronic focus of the album will upset the fans of their more guitar-heavy tracks, it’s still another great album from the band, even if it does take a few listens to really settle in.

The use of guest artists, conventions of modern RnB music plus nods to rock, electronica and, occasionally, pop make this a refreshing multi-faceted album with much to enjoy and a refreshing take on their off-the-wall lyrics and diverse styles.

7.5/10

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Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds - Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds [Album Review]

Though I wouldn’t class myself as a big fan of Oasis – I only have a passing interest in their music, but ‘The Importance of Being Idle’ is one of the best songs of the last decade – I was significantly impressed by the two singles cut from Noel’s first solo release since the mad Mancunians split up to pick up a copy of his almost eponymous, self-titled album.

I will apologise for the multiple references back to Oasis during the review but, as you would tell from listening to it, it doesn’t take a massive departure from what has come before it, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but this is definitely an Oasis album without the other chap from Oasis or some of the session musicians.

The opening track ‘Everybody’s On The Run’ starts like several tracks of the album as if the band are getting ready to perform, in this case including a cough which is an intriguing way to start an album. Appearing on first listen to be the sister track to Oasis’ ‘Stop Crying Your Heart Out’, at least thematically, it benefits from a good musical introduction and a marching beat, all designed to kick the album off well but, as expected, not really escaping the shadow of Oasis. The addition of an atmospheric string section really makes this a B+ track to kick the album off with.

Continuing the live session feel, ‘Dream On’ starts with a countdown and is a pleasing guitar-strumming track with a determined foot-tapping beat, but not quite up to the opener, though still sounding like it was made in the mould of his former band. The song is let down, however, by an annoying repetitive end that shows a good minute could have been shaved off the running time.

‘If I Had A Gun’ starts off as if Noel was going to play ‘Wonderwall’ from his back catalogue but changes his mind, to deliver a track that is more about the lyrics than necessarily the music. Compared to the previous tracks, it doesn’t have the catchiness of the first two but the ‘aah’ sections, for want of a better onomatopoeic word, compliment the more complex, free-flowing, verses naturally. Not the best track on the first listen, though, and a questionable first US single.

‘The Death of You and Me’ – the first single from the album in the UK – is the first thing that inspired me to get the album and returns to the quality of the first track. Again kicking off with a countdown, it’s a track that’s musically polished with Noel embracing a falsetto, with a bridge and chorus that add to the appeal. It’s well deserving of being the first single with a great humming middle section that really adds something to the piece. It’s a marching, but hit that doesn’t outstay its welcome as the second shortest on the ten-track LP. I would have liked to have heard more from the track on the album but what is there in its three-thirty running time is excellent.

‘(I Wanna Live In A Dream In My) Record Machine’ bleeds in from the previous track with the sound of kids playing, abandoning the live session feel of the previous transitions to something more produced and flowing. The track is more balladic with persistent percussion and a slower pace overall, with added strings and a rhyming hook that grabs you, taking you happily to the half way point of an album that seems to be speeding by, even though it comes in at a respectable forty-two minutes. On this song there’s enough time to throw in a guitar solo section and the song comes to a cracking end with a cacophony of sound that makes the track stand out on the album.

‘AKA ... What A Life’, titled as if he couldn’t think of a better name, continues the theme of the bleeding transitions, giving the album a slicker feel in the second half. The best song on the album with catchy vocals and drums, and a very memorable chorus, this is destined to be one of the biggest tunes of the years critically if not necessarily commercially. It ends on a lower-key finish but it’s the instrumental and bombastic nature of the song that wins through.

‘Soldier Boys and Jesus Freaks’ is another song there for the lyrics, but with no real hook to grab onto, even if the track marches on relentless. A good track but nothing special in comparison to the other tracks on the album.

‘AKA... Broken Arrow’ is a more up-tempo track with a refreshingly different sounding Noel Gallagher, with a trademark catchy chorus and a fast-paced guitar backing track, and easily a contender for single number three.

‘(Stranded On) The Wrong Beach’ is another great track, appearing now as the album heads for its closure, with a sense of familiarity that I can’t place. But it’s a good track on its own with an uptempo feel and enjoyable beat. Plus any song with the instrumental of ‘musical wine glasses’ credited to it can’t really be a failure.

The album then comes to an end with the Oasis demo track ‘Stop the Clocks’ which finally gets recorded and released here, after a failed appearance on ‘Don’t Believe The Truth’ and lending its name to the Britpop act’s greatest hits compilation. It’s a reflective and sombre end to an album with a church-like feel to the music. Ironically it’s the least Oasis sounding track on the album and a pleasing enough closer for the end of an album with a nod to the past and an acknowledgement of what came before, and led to, the creation of this album.

Overall the album is worth picking up on the basis of the two singles alone and there’s more to enjoy amongst the other eight tracks. Don’t expect a massive shift from the work of Oasis but enjoy what is here.

[7/10]

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Darren Hayes – Secret Codes and Battlefields [Album Review]

I don’t make the following sentence lightly but Hayes’ previous double-disc album ‘This Delicate Thing We’ve Made’, a concept album about time travel and fixing things in your past, is one of my favourite albums of all time, a beautiful album of great music, thoughtful lyrics and an interesting storyline throughout its twenty-five tracks. So, it was without hesitation that I picked up the follow-up, ‘Secret Codes and Battlefields’, to see if it was just as good.

Though lacking in the detailed storyline and over-arching themes of its predecessor ‘Secret Codes’ is loosely based around themes of the sea and has many stand out tracks among its dozen tunes, though only a handful that stand up to the majesty of the previous release. That said it’s still a cracking album of emotive, touching songs.

If you have enjoyed the ex-Savage Garden singer’s work so far then you’ll have much to enjoy here. If you didn’t enjoy his previous release then don’t expect a massive leap from the themes and musical style you got on that because there isn’t much of one. What you heard back in 2007 is similar to what you hear here.

Coming in at an impressive forty-seven minutes spanning over twelve tracks, the album opens with ‘Taken By The Sea’, a beautiful opener very much in the style of his last album. ‘Don’t Give Up’ follows and is a track that’s equally pleasant to listen to and name-checks the album but not as strong as the first song.

‘Nearly Love’ is close to Hayes’ era in Savage Garden with excellent lyrics that stand out from the minimal music that compliments but never over-powers throughout the album.

Second UK single ‘Black Out The Sun’ is next, a track originally written for Leona Lewis who must be kicking herself for overlooking it, and is a great but sad and touching song thanks to its well-written lyrics and powerful chorus. A heavy drum beat and story-orientated lyrics lead to the powerful, almost operatic, songs that Hayes does so well.

The next song is ‘Talk Talk Talk’, the first cut from the album, and immediately has a more club-style feel to it with electronic sound effects and a thumbing base, and is much more up-tempo than much else on the album, especially juxtaposed with the previous track. Australian release ‘Bloodstained Heart’ comes after and returns the album to its slow feel, with a chorus that sounds like it has been borrowed from the Editors, given a falsetto makeover and packed into another song about lost love, a theme revisited by Hayes throughout the twelve tunes.

‘God Walking Into The Room’ is another satisfying mix of well-written lyrics and music, with some religious overtones thrown into the mix and some effective, if clichéd, use of some ‘oohs’. Indeed. Afterwards ‘Hurt’, with a synth that sounds like an 80s video game, is similar in style but better to listen to, and continues the layout of songs so far that tend to fade out rather than come to a natural conclusion, suggesting they were not too sure how to end some of the songs.

‘Roses’ is full of imagery, mostly gloomy it has to be said, and with a chorus that borders again into familiar territory to other songs, but a perfectly good bridge track between the bigger hits. ‘Stupid Mistake’ is similar and has an interesting ending to it, and ‘Cruel, Cruel World’ continues the atmosphere set up by the album. ‘The Siren’s Call’ rounds off the album nicely.

Overall, all tracks stand well together in the concept theme and Darren’s voice has never been stronger or his lyrics more emotive or full of imagery. Though it doesn’t quite reach the heights of his last release, it is well worth a listen if you enjoy your songs touching, well-written and a little on the introspective side, plus if you actually slap some money on the counter for a CD edition you get a beautiful hardbook book containing the CDs, lyrics and beautiful photography.

Also, you do get a bonus CD of seven extra tracks. Though it’s churlish to criticise what are basically extra bonuses, the second disc is a mixed bag. ‘Explode’ is a more uptempo song again with an electronic feel and above par chorus, and straddles nicely between main CD fare and a b-side. Track two ‘Perfect’ sounds like a cross between the soundtrack to a ‘Donkey Kong’ video game and a JLS track, with echoes of ‘Talk Talk Talk’ mixed in with some strained metaphors, making it more deserving of a place on this disc than the other.

‘Tiny Little Flashlights’ is another evocative track but more of filler; ‘Nothing’, an emotional song that’s one of the better extra tracks; and ‘Glorious’, possibly one of the most over-used song titles of the past couple of years, doesn’t quite justify its six-minute running time. The bonus CD, though, is rounded off by live versions of the two UK singles, which are basically acoustic songs showing off Hayes’ impressive voice over a minimalist keyboard, allowing his lyrics and voice to shine through and easily the best way to end this double-disc set.

Basically, if you like his previous work then you’re getting more of the same here, but it’s good more, and the addition of seven extra side tracks to the main meal of the album is an added bonus. It’s not going to convert any non-fans but should please anyway who has followed him from his days in Savage Garden plus anyone who likes well-written lyrics over interesting music that don’t break too often into anything more than a half-smile.

7/10

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The Cycle of Music

"Rihanna's manager says fans need more new material" is the headline of this BBC article, going on to prove that Rihanna has had a continuous flow of singles, and shows how th diet for new music from people is insatiable.

I agree that people are always asking for new music and for some acts an album a year works, but also artists being less prolific also work, it depends on the quality of the material.

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Review: Voyage to the Prohibited Planet

Voyage to the Prohibited Planet
Thursday 10th November 2011; Theatre In The Mill

Engine Oil. he Tiger, The Wizard and the Closet. Cold Mikado. Alternative titles to musicals that there could be, but it was ‘Voyage to the Prohibited Planet’ that BUSOM – Bradford University Society of Operettas and Musicals - chose as the title of their latest production, a scratch based on the 1980s musical ‘Return to the Forbidden Planet’ which, itself, is based on the 1950s movie ‘Forbidden Planet’ which, just to add another layer of confusion, is based on Shakespeare’s play ‘The Tempest’.

(Though I’m pretty sure there are no aliens with boppers on their heads, robots or 12-foot space creatures in Shakespeare’s play, but please let me know if I’m wrong).

The musical tells the story of a surveying crew of space pilots who, under the command of Captain Tempest, enter a meteor storm and have to land on the planet D’illyria, where they meet Doctor Prospero, a mad scientist, and his daughter and robot, attracted by his promise to fix their ship. Through their encounters on the planet they learn about Doctor Prospero’s mysterious mind-altering ‘X Factor’ formulation and how the science officer is actually his long-lost wife, plus fight against a 12-foot monster that enters through the airlock.

Throughout the dialogue the musical is peppered with 1950s and 1960s rock ‘n’ roll tunes.

So, with a nice pint of real cider in hand, I wandered up into the theatre to witness the BUSOM production, their first since their recent 24-hour show production of ‘Fame’. And whereas that performance was peppered with forgotten lines, missed cues and improvisation – run of the mill when you consider the nature of how long they had to learn the piece and no reflection on how much fun it was to watch – this was a much slicker affair with minimal set – it amounted to nothing more than a dozen chairs, some music stands and a black curtain – but a lot of fun to be had and some impressive sound and lighting effects scattered through it.

The opening of the musical was possible the most unusual that I’d been to with the cast encouraging everyone to put their hands on their head and make raspberry sounds in the style of an aeroplane safety briefing. Nothing like breaking the ice there. And for those of you wondering why, it would be explained later.

It was then onto the main production with James Howe taking the lead role of Captain Tempest, possessing possible the biggest, if you mind the pun, visual joke of the evening, wearing a metallic badge on his jumper that looked like a, er, rocket with two large exhaust bits. If you’ve seen the second Austin Powers film you’ll know what I’m getting at. If you haven’t then you are in possession of a clean mind and I salute you!

His costume was one of a handful of remarkable tops, from the three ‘aliens’ covered in green body paint and boppers to Stuart’s remarkably genuine looking Star Trek top. If I didn’t know better I’d say he had it already in his wardrobe when the musical was planned, but that’s only a guess. But I’m right.

As Captain Tempest James was a well-chosen lead, with a good sense of humour in his acting and a good voice to carry off the tracks, even if he did have to rely on a folder for some lines and music, a technique carried over from the 24-hour show and used by a lot of the cast during the piece, which I wasn’t expecting as they usually are good at being script-less.

His duet on the classic ‘It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World’ with Anna Garlick as science officer Gloria was both funny and well executed and Anna’s performance throughout the show was a highlight, proving to be an exceptional character actor and very funny visually, whilst also being able to carry off the songs.

It was after this song that the effort put into the effects in the production showed off, with great used of strobe and sound effects to really simulate a ship in distress, and it was always inevitable when casting Daniel Ratcliffe and Stuart Sellens as redshirts, that they’d both get killed throughout the course of the play, with Daniel being the first of several victims to the monster.

As the musical continued on there was one thing that annoyed me about it, and that’s more down to the nature of the musical and the truncated form, rather than BUSOM’S performance of it, but it reminded by of the musical ‘We Will Rock You’ which I had the mixed-pleasure of seeing a while ago, where songs are set-up awkwardly in the script with lines such as ‘We’re going to crash. Great balls of fire!’ being the Forbidden Planet equivalent of ‘To get there, we have to cross the Seven Seas of Rhye – queue song!’. But that’s a bugbear of my own and more, as I say, down to the nature of the play.

This did at least have the improvement over the Queen musical in having a backing chorus of aliens and no bastardised lyrics of ‘Radio Ga Ga’, though some of the songs were tweaked here and there to fit in with the plot.

We now got to the point of the ship crashing on the planet, with Dave Jennings as Prospero once more diving into the deliciously evil role with gusto, managing to keep his performance just on the right side of hamming it up but also being one of the strongest male singers of the evening. Naomi Fowler got to play robot Ariel 5000 – which sounds to me like a really powerful detergent or a futuristic Little Mermaid, but I digress – being intentionally very robotic in her performance and being happy to stand on stage with painted card strapped in front of her and a Chinese take-away container on her head.

(We’ve all been there of course, just not necessarily in front of an audience, just at home after FND).

Rachel Mitchell played Miranda, Prospero’s daughter, reprising her smitten-teenager role from the 24-hour show and being even better at it, being possibly the most enthusiastic and believable character on the stage. I hope to see more of her in future productions as she has really excelled in her two appearances so far.

It was also at this point that Joel Blakemore, the ship’s Shakespeare-spouting chef ‘Cookie’, came into his own, once more proving he’s worth being cast with another hilarious portrayal of a down-on-his-luck character, thoroughly geeking it up with his performance, use of Sonic Screwdriver, and ability to collapse on stage.

The chorus of ‘Good Vibrations’ was well done and timed well and Joel’s solo of ‘I’m Not Going To Wash For A Week’, backed by the alien chorus of Lyndsey Niven, Emelie Ollila and Poppy Brooks, was a joy to listen to, Joel doing an excellent job in an area he has struggled at times before.

The show was also punctuated by some excellent background acting from the cast, reacting to other characters and songs such as during ‘I Heard It Through The Grapevine’, a very good performance by Lyndsey, Emilie and Poppy, whose vocals were thankfully not as blotchy as their green make-up.

Having Bill Harding on piano – doing a stirling job on tracks of mixed tempos – really benefited this production over the PA songs of the 24-hour show, not drowning out the singing of the solos.

Rachel Mitchell was back up next, performing a fantastic version of ‘Teenager In Love’, again cementing herself as an asset to the group, the track beautifully sung and acted with passion, though perhaps needing a little bit more volume against the piano.

Joel and Rachel continued to put in great performances, alongside James as the vain Captain, James pulling off his personality well through creative use of props and his hair, which itself almost deserves a credit for its performance, who shone in his version of ‘Young Girl’, even if his moving back and forth across the stage was a little monotonous. Rachel, however, added to the track by some cracking acting as the song continued, clearly getting sadder as she realised her feelings for the captain were not reciprocated.

Next was the welcome return of Anna as Gloria the scientist, dragged back on stage for some more comic acting before we were treated to another enthusiastic and dramatic performance by Dave Jennings, with a catchy adapted version of the Elvis classic ‘All Shook Up’.

But, as the monster burst through the air lock once more, we got a freeze frame from the cast and a funny dramatic summing up from Sara Pietrzik as the narrator, before the interval arrived. Though, even after most of the cast left the stage in the blackout, Dave remained in character on the floor, but luckily he did break out whilst we were downstairs so he didn’t have to lie down for twenty minutes.

After a quick blast of fresh air it was back into the theatre for the second part with the cast back in their freeze frame positions, and some well-timed sound effects as Stuart shot the creature but ultimately met his maker. A green light was used to simulated Gloria’s imprisonment in jail and the second Elvis track of ‘Jailhouse Rock’ re-inforced it, a well performed by the cast, especially considering the tricky dance moves which, for the most part, were performed successfully. The song also got the audience happily clapping along.

The performance of the ‘Shoop, Shoop Song’ that followed by the aliens was almost perfect compared to the original and Rachel continued to shine as Miranda, now in a weird wig, and treating us to track ‘Robot Man’ and excelling at it. Plus, it was a good excuse for the cast to burst into doing an adaptation of the Macarena behind her, which Stuart knew he couldn’t miss out on, returning to the stage back from the head but now with a Red Dwarf-inspired hologram H on his forehead.

The plot of the musical continued with a nod to the X Factor reality show – in this case the X Factor formula seemingly kills the robot rather than releasing eight years of tosh into the charts – and the destruction of the monster, before the audience are encouraged to help ‘reverse the polarity flow’ (you know what, I don’t think that’s real science) by repeating the movements from the very early introduction, much to the embarrassment, I might add, of me and my friends!

It turned out in the plot that the X Factor has made Ariel 5000 human, allowing Naomi Fowler to emerge from the restrictions of playing a robot and putting in some great, hilarious acting contributions to the end, bouncing well off Joel as an interesting pair.

At this point it’s also worth noting some other great performances on the night. Sara Pietrzik as the narrator only had a few solo lines other than chorus work but delivered them with comic relish; Joseph Page as a member of the crew was possibly the most enthusiastic member of the crew, especially during ‘Born To Be Wild’ where, between him and David Collinson, the lyrics were brought to life in funny fashion from every wild arm gesture and on-stage hug; plus ‘Andrzej Frelek’ who bounced off the other people on stage in a good role.

Jon Carter and Nartani Nithianandasivam were also integral parts of the cast as well, but I would have liked to have seen more from them.

With the musical coming to a close there was just time for Dave Jennings to deliver a cracking version of the ‘Monster Mash’ before the cast launched into a spirited version of ‘I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper’.

Overall it was another excellent production from BUSOM, with standout performances from Anna Garlick, Rachel Mitchell, Dave Jennings, and Joel Blakemore; four fine comic and well-acted performances, complimented by great turns from James Howe, Naomi Fowler and the rest of the cast, and powerful singing from the trio of aliens.

If there was one criticism I would have is that the performance only came to about fifty-five minutes sans interval and was I hoping for a longer show, but what we did got was well acted, funny and full of great, singable songs, delivered well by an enthusiastic cast, complimented by some excellent piano, sound effects and lighting tricks.

With maybe fewer obvious scripts to rely on and a bit more material it would have been a practically flawless production but, as always, going to see a performance by BUSOM is not a disappointment, and I look forward once more to their next production, ‘Around The World In 80 Minutes’, just in time for Christmas.

[7.5 / 10]

Cast:

Captain Tempest – James Howe
Gloria – Anna Garlick
Miranda – Rachel Mitchell
Prospero – Dave Jennings
Ariel 5000 – Naomi Fowler
Cookie – Joel Blakemore
Boson – Andrzej Frelek
Steward – Emily Bennett
Narrator – Sara Pietrzik
Crewman – Joseph Page
Aliens – Poppy Brooks, Lyndsey Niven, Emelie Ollila
Redshirts – Daniel Ratcliffe, Stuart Sellens
Chorus – Jon Carter, David Collinson, Nartani Nithianandasivam
Directors – Christine Brighouse-Johnson, Bill Harding, Zoe Howe
Piano Man – Bill Harding
Crew – Mike Bedford, Nicki Bedford, Kate Concannon

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The Shepley Lion: News in the Roar

Today is a classic example of how the Internet can make wacky stories develop a life of their own.

Earlier in the day one of my friends re-tweeted a National Rail post that a lion had been spotted crossing a train line with a cub near Shepley near Huddersfield. No matter how unlikely this seems - if it does exist then it must have escaped from some sort of private zoo unless it's picked West Yorkshire as an unusual holiday destination - it's really come alive on the internet, covered by the BBC, The Guardian, The Belfast Telegraph, The Huffington Post, and many others you can find from a quick Google search.

But it doesn't stop there in the world of social networks. Already the lion is on Twitter (@shepley_lion) and there is even now a lion cuddly toy available for purchase on Amazon. Granted it's a standard toy with a PhotoShopped t-shirt print but still, I kid you not.

I'm off to bed now. If I don't wake up in the morning to find it has a Facebook fan page and a blog I'll be disappointed. And if it's not covered in the Sun with a headline like 'Lion spotted on the Mane-Line' or 'Leaves on the line? No lion on the line' I'll be upset.

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This Week's Single Releases: Bruno Mars, Maverick Sabre, Pixie Lott feat. Pusha T, Tinchy Stryder feat. Calvin Harris

Taken from the soundtrack for the latest sparkly-sparkly-bitey-bitey-lovey-dovey Twilight vampire film 'Breaking Down' (is that a typo or what you do when you've seen it, not sure) is Bruno Mars' 'It Will Rain'. It's no 'Grenade' or 'Marry You' or 'The Lazy Song' but I'm sure it will sound great on the film as the leads look into each other's eyes as they declare their love for each other, or realise they've kissed and she's had garlic or whatever, due to its swelling strings, operatic orchestral bits or heartfelt lyrics. Sure, it's a sloppy by-numbers ballad, but it's a pleasant enough way to spend four minutes and it's a well put together song, just a little too much 'X Factor' for my liking. And it sort of ends like they weren't sure where to go next. 6/10

Having appeared as a guest artist on Professor Green's album, it's now time for Maverick Sabre to step into the spotlight with 'I Need'. With a voice that doesn't match his look at all, this is a smooth, slick single with a summery chorus that mixes Macy Gray with Cee-Lo Green. Yes, the bits after the chorus wander a little aimlessly but otherwise it's a cracking, laid back track that doesn't feel restricted by its musical structure, which is enjoyable in itself. A great listen and something a little different for the charts. Sit back, put it on and relax! 7/10

First cut from second album 'All About Tonight' was a great song and a deserving number one, and now Pixie Lott is back with her follow-up 'What Do You Take Me For?' which features rapper Pusha-T on support, kicking off the track ala 'Umbrella' with an introduction and the usual cliched staples of announcing the artists names. His introduction at the start is short and, unsurprisingly he returns later for some more in a slow, functional but lacklustre section. I usually enjoy songs that throw in a little bit of rapping but it's been done so many times before now and getting a little tired. Elsewhere, the musical backing is thick, heavy and basey and gets the thumbs up and the verses and chorus are powerful and is fun to listen to. Another top track from Pixie even if it's not as good as her previous hit with not as distinctive sections as the number one, and though the rap additions are interesting they're nothing we've not heard many times before. 6.5/10

Calvin Harris continues to carve a niche in producing for other artists. Having joined up with Kelis and Rihanna among others this time it's Tinchy Stryder with 'Off The Record', with a video that you expect to be sponsored by Barclaycard. If you've heard a Calvin Harris-produced track before then you'll immediately recognise this, as you could immediately start singing 'Dance Wiv Me' at times and Tinchy name-checks 'The Girls' at one point which just adds to the repetition. In essence it's a great club track but it's too similar to Calvin's previous work so sounds more like a mash-up than a fresh track. Tinchy does a great job on his vocals even if the lyrics let him down at times (yes, another reference to Las Vegas, gambling and being 'all in') but he's let down by a tired backing track. [5.5/10]

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Daley - Those Who Wait [Album Review]

Way back in September I went to Bingley Music Live, as covered elsewhere on this blog, and saw a whole load of artists that I subsequently bought the CDs of and reviewed. One artist that I didn't get round to in that time was Daley, whose ten-track mix tape 'Those Who Wait' is available to download - for free - by anyone from www.daley.tv. And I did, and now I've listened to it, and here is what I think!

The album opens with 'Those Who Wait', which is a low key opening for an album but includes thet touching, thoughtful lyrics that dominate the album. This opener benefits from a laid back, chilled beat and sees Daley doing an impersonation of the style of Savage Garden's Darren Hayes, which is no bad thing.

Follower 'Let It Go sees Daley channelling Michael Jackson when he was good (and, of course, alive) with a blend of Justin Timberlake thrown in, though as that latter singer has built a career doing Jacko impersonations, it's not a surprise. The song benefits from a well constructed chorus even if he descends into Mariah Carey-style wailing at times, but not to such a level that it detracts from the overall tune.

Third track 'Game Over' continues the theme of lyrics on love, delivered in a floaty style with RnB undertones, a style that is used on most of the tracks here to good effect, including on fourth 'Alone Together' featuring Marsha Ambrosius. The song sounds very much in the style of black RnB stars such as R Kelly, even though Daley's as opposite R Kelly as you could imagine with a pale face and large ginger quiff.

'Love Lost' is a stripped back short interlude with just a chorus backing, allowing you to focus on the lyrics, and shows off the quality of recording, especially good when you consider he's allowing you to listen to this album for zilch. There's no evidence of bedroom recording here but, if it was done between his bed and wardrobe, I want his studio! The only negative about the tracks so far is that they all sound very similar, with not much change in style between tracks.

'Smoking Gun' follows after the interlude and refreshingly sees a change in style with a more exciting drum riff, creating the best track on the album that could easily be single material, with some excellent choir effects that lift it to an operatic ending that Meat Loaf would be proud of.

Up next is 'Spent' and it starts with a police siren rattling through a city, but leads into a pondering piano-led ballad that doesn't really get anywhere but the lyrics are once more well written and the mix of lead and backing vocals work well.

We then get into what are, effectively, the bonus tracks of the album, starting with an acoustic version of 'Pretty Wings' which is nice but nothing remarkable.

It's the 'Harry Love Remix' of his collaboration with Gorillaz 'Doncamatic' that follows which, naturally due to the work together, is the most fleshed out track and smartly produced and, though not as good as some other Gorillaz tracks, it's one of the better ones from the 'Plastic Beach' era with a catchy chorus and interesting beat and synth work, and it's a shame it wasn't on the full-release of the album originally to beef up a sub-par album, but that's a conversation about their poor third release for another time.

The album comes to an end with an acoustic version of Madonna's 'Like A Virgin', stripped back and slower, and an interesting version of it, almost lounge-like, and much more chilled out than the original. It's a very good version of it.

Overall you can't really complain about an album that is free but what I can say is that, instead of getting some chap in his bedroom recording a series of OK tracks, this could easily be a charged-for release and, though you could accuse him of not wandering away from a winning style for much of the ten-track album there is certainly much to enjoy in 'Smoking Gun', 'Doncamatic' and 'Let It Go', among others, and I've paid for worse sounding, less enjoyable albums.

Download it now!

7/10

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Is Apple iTunes really a vampire?

...well it sucks...

OK, that's a cheap joke, but was Pete Townsend right when he called Apple as a vampire? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-15528101)

Like any retailer we can't really expect Apple to support unsigned artists, as much as we wouldn't expect HMV or WHSmith to do so. In fact, and this is a lot from someone who doesn't particularly like Apple, they do a lot for smaller artists with their podcast service and such like.

But I do completely agree with his thoughts on illegal downloaders with that metaphor. Yes, I know there are people who download music to see if they like it before buying it, but for everyone like that there are loads that use it as subsititute for putting their hand in their pocket.

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It's time once more to battle with charity symbolism....

It’s that time again when I play the eternal battle that faces most people each year. You want to support the cause but in doing so leads you to two weeks of a continuous fight with your clothing, a pin, your conscience and your over garments.

Yes; I’m talking about the humble poppy.

Now, I support the reasons behind wearing a poppy and am happy to wear mine with pride. I don’t write into ‘Points of View’ to deride news readers and every presenter from Countryfile to Balamory (is that still on?) wearing them on TV from mid-July, or however early it is they wear them these days; I don’t particularly support the wars we might be involved in but want to support our soldiers both past and present; and I don’t mind wearing the red one over a “white” poppy. But what I don’t enjoy is the total faff that wearing a poppy brings.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to make out that wearing a poppy is a real trial, as if doing so is really difficult like nuclear fusion, building a space rocket or trying to work out just how Nicki Minaj comes up with the lyrics to her song. It’s just an annual annoyance that really gets my goat.

Let’s start by trying to find a poppy. Now, where I work at the University of Bradford, you can rely on them having them at main reception, where I picked up my first (notice the word first, and remember it). But elsewhere it’s tricky to find them. As I wandered through town there was no one selling them in the street, weird considering you usually have to bat away charity sellers down the main street like the pilot in film ‘Airplane!’, and there were none on sale in Morrisons, which is weird considering you can already buy Christmas crackers and puddings seven weeks ahead of time but nothing for, like, eight days away. It’s almost like you have to hunt them down to find them, and surely it shouldn’t be like that?

Secondly, once you’ve found a poppy and purchased one, the struggle then begins to keep it on your clothes. For reasons unknown to me, each year they insist on selling the poppy in two-parts, like a really boring Kinder toy: the poppy, and a pin. Now, when you buy an AIDS or cancer ribbon, or get a badge free in your favourite magazine, they’ve invented the technology of the safety pin that is, you know, attached to the thing. You open the pin, slip it through your clothes and, voila, it’s attached to your outfit and only a very heavy wind, a Tom and Jerry-style magnet, or Chuck Norris is going to remove it. But, for some reason the Royal Legion think that a pin is ample to allow you to keep hold of your poppy for a week.

And herein lies the flaw. From my experience it’s fine if you always wear nice linen shirts which the pin stays in pretty happily. But if you wear a t-shirt or, heaven forbid, something woollen or bobbly, you might as well just buy your poppy and chuck it immediately on the floor as if you don’t really like it.

Even a small blob of your favourite brand of blu-tac style adhesive on the end fails to provide a permanent solution as that soon shuffles its way off the end of the pin and falls to the floor, only to be followed by the poppy in some sort of weird clothing suicide pact.

You can spend five minutes carefully pushing the pin through your top, ensuring you don’t snag too much fabric so there’s plenty of pin-end left to compensate for the movement of your clothing, and still within half a day the pin will have wriggled free, allowing your poppy to make its escape on the floor somewhere, meaning you have to spend the whole day re-tracing your steps to find it like some sort of sub-par orienteering day trip; add the pin to your collection of them; or buy a new one.

Not that I’m against paying another pound for a new poppy – it goes to a good cause after all – but I’d rather spend extra and buy one where the poppy actually comes with a safety pin attached.

Now for the past couple of years I have been in the possession of an enamel poppy badge which does come with an attached pin but even this has its flaws. Firstly, it’s smaller than the usual poppy so it doesn’t really show the support as much; secondly, as I have done, you put it somewhere safe and lose it between each Remembrance Sunday, especially when you’ve moved twice in twelve months as I have. And, if you want to buy a new one, good luck. They’re rarer than the ordinary poppies.

So, that leaves you with Hobson’s choice of sticking with the traditional poppy, the one that moves around more than the head of the caravan club as you, as etiquette and social standing dictates, change your clothes on a daily basis. One day it might be fine; the next, as you choose to wear a more flexible t-shirt, the poppy makes a bid for freedom.

One solution would be to stay in the same clothes for a fortnight, but that brings with it its own pitfalls. Like a lack of friends and people avoiding you. And stickiness.

If you are lucky enough to keep hold of your poppy then having one leads to an unfortunate tic. You know, as you sit at your desk, or in meetings, constantly fiddling with it to a) ensure it’s still there and not blowing away down the corridor; b) there’s enough pin-end left that it’s not going to wriggle to freedom; and c) it’s not curling up to form the poppy equivalent of those wrapped wafers you get in posh coffee shops. If people didn’t think you were eccentric before they will after you constantly look like you’re inspecting your left nipple all the time.

Somewhere I believe there is, next to the fridge mountain and wine lake, a pile of poppies a mile high, somewhere outside Glamorgan, where all the free poppies have blown off people’s tops, ready to be gathered up, dusted down and re-sold. I swear I saw it on Google Earth.

And, of course, in between losing your poppy and finding somewhere that actually sells them, you are poppy-less and thus feel like, even though this probably isn’t the case, everyone is looking at you disparagingly for not wearing a poppy.

For next year I’m going to get a t-shirt printed that has a large picture of a poppy on the front that says ‘I bought a poppy but the stupid pin is as much use as Gordon Ramsey at a Weight Watchers meeting for the easily offended’ and just donate a fiver to the cause instead.

In conclusion I agree with the cause behind poppies and I think people should wear them but I think they need to sort it out. A minimum of £2 in these times of inflation is not much to ask in exchange for a poppy that comes with its own attached safety pin, and having them available at more places. You can get cash back at Morrisons, why not poppy back (and sexy back if they have time, but that’s for another discussion…)?

I’m not against giving them more than a quid; after all I must buy about five poppies per season, when a season is only two weeks. It’s like Man United replacing their striker every match throughout their season because they fall off the terraces and disappear, only left with a small metallic souvenir. You wouldn’t expect to purchase half a dozen pumpkins in the run up to Hallowe’en or replace your Christmas tree every week as it doesn’t stay up. So why should we put up with it in the run up to Remembrance Sunday.

[You can, of course, keep replacing eggs at Easter. Yum.]

I can walk into any pub round here and purchase from a vending machine tampons, condoms, inflatable sheep and god knows what else that you can get for £2.00. Why not poppies? Or at least gaffer tape to affix it to your chest like some sort of bomb.

I want to wear a poppy with pride but at the moment the poppy appeal is not that appealing. I can’t support it well if every time I change my top, move or sneeze I have to re-align it, ensure it’s still on and fiddle with it like I’ve got OCD and demand it be perpendicular to my beard.

Sort it out somebody. Else I’ll be buying one of those sticky ones you get for cars and attaching it to my chest, looking like some floral version of Iron Man.

Or maybe just an idiot.

Phil bought his first poppy on October 27th and it stayed with him for four days. He’s currently on the hunt to purchase his second. So don’t judge him for not wearing one, OK!

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Doctor Who - Let's Do It!

For those of you who love Doctor Who and Victoria Wood...

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